My name is Revlon Top Speed Fast Dry Nail Enamel in Grape. I am doing this post and review, today. Ice Queen is in a bit of a snit and isn't in the mood to write, so she said that I could do it. But she is watching over my shoulder. I am sure that she will butt in at any moment, if she feels the need to do so.
(You're damned right I will.)
I am sooo excited. I mean, no polish has ever been allowed to write her own review on this blog, before. I think that this means that I am just too fabulous for words and, like, the very best polish evah!
(You need to dial back the enthusiasm just a little bit, mmmkay?)
Okay. If you insist.
I am a deep, true purple. Dark and rich, like a delicious, ripe Concord grape. I am dark, but I don't look blackened in indoor or dim light. I stay purple. I look like just another purple creme indoors. Actually, I don't think I look like just any old purple creme, at all. I mean, other brands, like Color Club and OPI and Sally Hansen don't have any colours like me (actually, they probably do...) but honestly, I think I am just sooo much prettier. They just can't hold a candle to me.
(You need to remember a few things. First of all, this is not a comparison post. This is a Manicure of the Moment and review post. And, even if it were a comparison post; good, bad or indifferent, I am fair, honest and talk about all of the good and bad points of all of the polishes being shown. I am truthful and express my feelings about my personal experience with a product. I do not trash and bash any brand on this blog. Are we clear?)
Yeah. We're clear. *pout*
(Lovely. Why don't you go ahead and upload the photographs I took and let our readers see you in action, hmmm?)
Yes! I'll get right on that! They really do need to see me in all my glory, don't they?
(*rolling my eyes*)
Ice Queen took a lot of pictures of me. You'll see why, in a bit. She asked me to remind you that all photos are clickable to make them big. In fact, you can make them huge by double clicking! I heartily recommend you do so. I am totally worth a closer look.
(Modesty. It is a lovely personality trait. You might want to see about acquiring some.)
Geeze, what a grouch! Why doesn't she just go get a cup of coffee, curl up somewhere and watch TV and leave me to it?
(Watch it, Rev!)
Let's start out with me in shade. Take a good look! Aren't I just so pretty? Deep, rich purple. Nice and shiny. Lovely, huh?
Just wait until you see me out in the sun...
How do you like me now, Bitc...
(Rev! Watch your mouth! Don't you be calling my bloggy buddies bitches. I somehow doubt that you understand the fine art of using swear words as endearments. And I won't have you practicing on my readers. You feel me?)
I feel you.
(Good. Carry on.)
Look at my shimmer. I have a lot of it, in sunlight. Pink, purple, magenta, even blue. So pretty!
Please do click the pics to see my shimmer, even better!
Photos don't do me justice. I look a lot better in person. Trust me.
(She's right. She does, actually.)
Ice Queen fired off a lot of shots of me. She isn't really all that happy about them, tho. She spent the whole time she took my pictures muttering darkly about higher megapixels, better macro, needing to learn more about lighting and white balance and white light lamps and light boxes. Personally, I don't get what she was having a fit about. I mean, I think that she did a pretty nice job... Dude, just look at me! She captured my true purple hue and my shimmer shows pretty well. She totally needs to lighten up. :P
Okay, now comes the review part of this post. I don't think I want to. 'Cause, you see, Ice Queen says that I am a bit of a brat. You know what? I think I will just skip this part.
(Rev? Do I have to step in and finish this post?)
No. I'll do it. *sigh*
My formula is a bit of a problem. I am thin and I like to run. If you don't corral me and watch your p's and q's I will flood your cuticles. You need to have your cleanup brush and acetone at the ready and hit me fast, if I get on your skin. Ice Queen cleaned me up one coat, one nail at a time while I was wet and freshly applied. She did a little cussing, in the process. Actually, if I remember correctly, it was a lot of cussing. I seem to remember F-bombs falling pretty thick and fast and I could swear I heard her call me a cu...
(REV! I told you to watch your mouth, didn't I? One more "slip " like that and you are done.)
In addition to my being a bit thin and runny, you need to be sure to apply me with plenty of polish on the brush. Try to do thin coats and I will streak and drag like a dog with an itchy ass. I also can leave the occasional lump/chunk. In fact, I had to be completely removed from one nail, the nail cleaned off and completely re done, thanks to my leaving a little present on that nail. Guess she didn't appreciate my little gift to her.
I was a little uneven on the first coat, tho not too bad. My second coat smoothed me out very nicely and I am completely opaque. I have good, quick dry time and I dry satin matte. If you want me shiny, you must hit me with a good topcoat. Ice Queen used Seche Vite. I admit, I bubbled. But application of Seche smoothed out most of the bubbling, so I redeemed myself a little bit. :D I am a bit of a pain in the ass to apply. But, I am very pretty. And if you are willing to put up with my bullshit, I might just be worth your while.
So, there you have it. Me. Revlon Top Speed Fast Dry Nail Enamel in Grape. What do you think of me? Love me? Or love me? Please share.
Oh! I am supposed to ask you all what you thought of this format; a polish posting about herself and doing her own review? Did you enjoy it? Would you like to see it done, now and then in the future? Or was this all just too cornball and we should give it up? Please let Ice Queen know when you leave a comment. Talk about blatant comment whoring... :P ;) lol
Okay. I am being told to wrap this up. Thank you all so very much for popping in and reading this different kind of post. Have a wonderful evening and may your polish never bubble.
(Unlike someone we know... *gives nails the hairy eyeball*)